Thursday, May 21, 2009

Guest Blog From An Unhappy Idol Fan

The following is a guest blog from none other than Mrs. Curmudgeon, who just had to get her bruised feelings over American Idol off her chest:

OK, once again world events small and large confirm that in a close race I am out of step with the popular majority -- every time. First it was Ronald Reagan. I just couldn't convince myself that he was ever playing anything other than a bit part in a B movie. And, he won. At Wimbledon last year, Roger (Federer) vs. Rafa (Nadal). Roger lost. Earlier this year it was Hillary. She lost. More recently it was the Caps. They lost. And, now . . . Adam (vs. wet-boy Kris) . He lost.

I started feeling that "it's too good to be true" sensation about Adam's ascendancy to the Idol throne after Gokey was ousted leaving wet-boy, wife -in-the-cage Kris standing, small and shivering, in the shadow of Adam the Great Song-Slayer. Then, on Tuesday, I felt the plates shift underneath again when Simon -- Simon! --said -- after Adam's unbelievable, heart-stopping rendition of Sam Cooke's "Change is Gonna Come" " You're 100% back in the game." Uh-oh. What did that mean? I was ready to get on my knees, business suit and briefcase and all, and praise the Lord Jesus after Adam was done . . . but this was all the commentary that Simon could muster?

My first reaction was that clearly some people should not have telephones because some serious network abuse must have been going on for Adam Lambert not to have won American Idol. It's hard to believe there are enough 13-year old girls in Oklahoma with automatic speed dialers for Kris Allen to overtake Adam Lambert. I need to complain to the FCC or the FTC -- this is just wrong. We need a Congressional investigation.

Maybe all the red state viewers decided to flick off California and its attempt to sustain gay marriage by voting against Adam. (I'm not saying Adam has anything to do with gay marriage in California -- I'm just saying that there are people out there who would jump to this conclusion and take irrational actions.) Maybe it was his hair, his eyeliner, his nails . . .

Maybe he is just too talented. Now, that's a disturbing thought.

I'm sure if AT&T and Idol were ever persuaded to release the calling pattern records I could come up with some popular culture theory of why a guy so clearly above the rest of the field in vocal talent (not to mention, charisma, personality, creativity and good looks) in a singing competition didn't win.

But, I've moved beyond these issues. Really.

The big loser here is the American Idol franchise. This was the very best opportunity for AI to finally, officially equate itself with discovering and "making" a global superstar. Look at the rest of the field; David Cooke, Jordan Sparks, Taylor Hicks (what happened that year?), Fantasia (sorry, she's just not that good). I like em' all but with the exception of Carrie Underwood, none of them will every break through into lasting music legacy or "stardom" (whatever that is). Adam Lambert could have been the one.

The good news is that Adam Lambert will succeed anyway. But for the AI contest, he'd still be doing bit parts in musical theater in San Diego or wherever (with his Dad still grumbling about how he never liked sports and he's not done much with himself -- yes, don't deny it-- I heard you say these things!) Adam needs a stage -- a big one. With lots of wardrobe changes. Maybe his own TV show. Fox could do a another singing contest but in this one, Adam would sing all the songs. They would be from different genres and we could call in and vote for our favorite. Here's Adam Lambert singing "Afternoon Delight" Here's Adam Lambert singing "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" I'd watch that. Maybe Queen should invite him to be their new lead singer. They need one. I think Freddy Mercury would love it. Maybe Adam should just do a tour by himself (I can see Cher as a great warm up act!). I'd go see that. Oh, and by the way, I am a female in her 40s with lots of disposable income-- I will pay to see and hear Adam Lambert (but, sorry, not Kris Allen).

The bad news (and here, I'm hoping that it's actually not that bad for Adam -- that he is truly as smart and gracious as he appeared and isn't crushed by this AND that he has lots of really good producers around him offering him many opportunities to do just what he wants and deserves AND that he has lots of good people around him to support him and keep him grounded as the public celebrity takes over his life. Hhmmm . . . need a good lawyer? I'm available.) . . . is that I do not get my weekly Adam Lambert fix.

I'm feeling very sorry for myself but I'll be watching out for when Adam Lambert emerges post-Idol.

And, as for Kris? Congratulations, good job buddy. Go take care of your marriage because she didn't look too happy in the few times AI let her out of her cage.


Favorite Uncle D said...

Best post ever on this blog. Well written and thoughtful, and right on point.


Anonymous said...

How nice to hear from Mrs. Curmudgeon for a change!

Zilman said...

I am with you 1000000% Turned off the TV completely disappointed last Wednesday - like watching your favorite sports team lose in the final seconds.