Friday, October 05, 2007

Larry Craig And The Moving Toilet Stall

Darn it--the court denied Sen. Larry Craig's request to plead unguilty. Now what will we do for entertainment around the Curmudgeon HQ?

Let's see if you can figure out the pattern here:

Larry Craig says that despite pleading guilty, he's not guilty.

Larry says he's not gay.

Sen. Larry says he's going to resign September 30.

Larry says he's not gay.

Mr. Wide Stance says he's only going to resign if the court doesn't allow him to withdraw his plea before September 30.

Larry says he's not gay.

Sen. Craig says he'll wait until after September 30, and then resign only if the court doesn't allow him to unplead guilty.

Larry says he's not gay.

Craig says that notwithstanding the court's ruling against him, he's going to serve out his term.

Larry says he's not gay. (Not, as they say on Seinfeld, that there's anything wrong with that.)

Oh, and by the way, what's with the Senate Ethics Committee hearing? Are they going to investigate whether Larry is gay, and if so, will they decide that if you're a Republican in an extremely manly red state, then that's an ethics violation?
Or are they instead going to investigate the misdemeanor to which Sen. Craig plead guilty. And if so, what are they going to do if they find out that he did what he plead guilty to doing?

Are they going to slap him on the wrist? Tap his feet with their feet? Cut off his winkie?

It's really a waste of time, but we hope Larry "Not Gay" Craig appeals the ruling refusing to let him unplead guilty.

If the guy's really going to stay in office, particularly as a lame duck, why not do something useful--and modestly brave: come out of the closet (or the stall) and make a statement in favor of gay men forced to cruise airport bathrooms and persecuted for it, rather than carry on with his charade.

1 comment:

pat the curmudgeon said...

Ahh fellow curmudgeon, me thinks thou revels in Senator Craig's misery too much. I personally feel sorry for the old goat. How embarassing it must be to be a conflicted aging neo-conservative toe tapping gay person? For the life of me, I can't understand why he pleaded guilty in the first place. He's a damn attorney! He should know, no one pleads guilty! I am amazed however that no one sees the hypocrisy of Democrats that viewed Rep Studds forays with minor male pages, and Rep Frank's significant other's gay pimping from his brownstone to be 'poor judgement', yet are reveling in poor Craig's self-inflicted misery.
I still think the Senator's claim that he was merely keeping the tempo of his I-Pod recording of the 'Village People's Greatest Hits'is just as credible as Rep Ferguson's frozen rainy day fund.