Monday, September 24, 2007

Deadskins Fall To Earth

The aliens have retreated.

That's right. For the past couple of weeks--indeed, right through the first half of yesterday's game between the Redskins and Giants--aliens had been inhabiting the Redskins' uniforms, taking them to a 2-0, and what looked sure to be 3-0, start for the season.

However, the aliens' mother ship beamed them back up from the locker room at halftime yesterday (sadly, leaving behind the yellow and red McDonald's tribute uniforms--"Hey, Jason, can I get some fries with that incomplete pass?"). Worse yet, the aliens sent back the real Redskins whom they had abducted.

And so it was no surprise that, with the real Redskins on the field, they reverted to form. The real coach, Joe Gibbs, helped call lame plays. The real quarterback, Jason Campbell, threw lame passes. The real running backs ran lamely. The real defense played lamely. The special teams played especially lamely. And we had the predictable result: despite the aliens giving them a two-touchdown lead, the Redskins lost to an 0-2 team that had allowed an average 44 points per game to be scored in its first two games.

Please aliens, come back. And while you're at it, can you also abduct and replace the Nationals, Wizards and Capitals?

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