Monday, August 27, 2007

Who's Worse--Vick or Gonzo? And How 'Bout That Larry Craig?

Today's headlines featured the resignation of Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General and the guilty plea of Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick on charges of dogfighting.

Which one is worse?
Let's see: Vick entered a guilty plea.
He acknowledged that what he did was wrong.
He accepted responsibility for his actions.
He didn't try to blame someone else.
He accepted his punishment.

What about Gonzo?
Denied he did anything wrong.
Tried to cover up what he did.
Lied about it after the cover-up failed.
Never acknowledged he did anything wrong.
Never took responsibility for his actions.
Tried to blame everyone else.
Wasn't punished (but did resign).
And still doesn't think he did anything wrong.

Oh, and now we have Idaho Senator Larry Craig, one of those pious gay-bashing conservatives, who evidently tried to quietly enter a guilty plea to lewd conduct in a Minneapolis airport men's restroom. Now that the word is out, he says the shouldn't have admitted his guilt.

Apparently Sen. Craig made the mistake of propositioning a male plainclothes police officer, who then arrested him. Here's the pertinent details from CNN, which got them from Capitol Hill's newspaper, Roll Call:

According to Roll Call, the arresting officer alleged that Craig lingered outside a rest room stall where the officer was sitting, then entered the stall next door and blocked the door with his luggage.

According to the arrest report cited by Roll Call, Craig tapped his right foot, which the officer said he recognized "as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."

The report alleges Craig then touched the officer's foot with his foot and the senator "proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times," according to Roll Call.

At that point, the officer said he put his police identification down by the floor so Craig could see it and informed the senator that he was under arrest, before any sexual contact took place.

Ick! Ick! Ick!

Now Craig, taking one out of the Gonzo playbook, says the shouldn't have agreed to the guilty plea. Instead, he says the police "were misconstruing my actions." Right. What he really wanted was a bit of toilet paper.

Here's one prediction we're pretty confident of: Craig won't last nearly as much longer as Gonzo did. He's gone. Sayanara Larry.

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